096. Vivian Carrasco: Mindset, transformation, and practice

Episode summary

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Vivian Carrasco

Transformation is often thought of as a particular turning point, but Vivian Carrasco views it as a daily practice. She discusses stillness, shifting your mindset, and her touch stones. Vivi unpacks her thoughts on transformation, and how podcasting fits into her journey. She shares her personal practices, thoughts on success, and reflections on her beginnings and her own path.

Vivian Carrasco is a wisdom teacher, mindset mentor, and podcaster based in Fort Worth, Texas. She encourages and coaches people to Love.Being.Human™, helping them find their truth, overcome fear, and move forward on their heart’s path. Vivian works one on one with individuals, and also created Within (U)niversity, an online platform for people to come together on their journey of living from their core.

Highlight [0:00]

Vivian (00:00:04):
Podcasting for me, initially, was a way that I unfolded my message, my platform for the world. But now, it’s different because I do have a community. It’s an invisible conversation. Like right now, I can physically see you but when I’m host on mic, I am having a conversation, hopefully with the listener.

Introduction [0:28]

Childhood role of movement [2:48]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Lived near family, walked barefoot back and forth often
  • Only rule to be home before sunset, freedom and play

Transformation [4:25]

Mindset shifts [8:48]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Getting over the fear of what’s next; trust that it will get better
  • Empty nest transition was important, completely rediscovering her identity
  • ‘When will I be done?’ Dinner vs Laundry metaphor
  • Seashell imagery: turning towards your center
  • Continuously evolving, enjoy the journey

Sea shell story [12:28]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Empty nest transition, completion of degrees, climbed ladder of ‘success’
  • Lost and introspective… malaise; didn’t know how to move forward
  • Beach trip with friends, searching for a sign, a guide
  • Sea shell became a metaphor for her process, touchstone

Movement [15:55]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Aura ring, reminder of movement, to move
  • Movement enriching our lives, filling a gap — it regulates us

Lessons from podcasting [17:45]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Podcasting as a tool in her journey; a way of thinking through, expressing her message
  • Began as her message, but became an invisible conversation
  • Imaging speaking to her kids daughters, her legacy, next generation
  • Co-creation, conversational dancing, drawing the listener in
  • Inviting people to take a leap, creating a space
  • Everyone deals with doubt, surprising herself with what she records
  • Recognizing her ancestors, the invisible
  • journaling, reflection, perspective

Transformation [27:22]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Ways we can transform; Outside change, or drip by drip
  • Importance of daily practices, no one way to do it
  • Finding your own path, allowing it to change
  • There isn’t only one opportunity, it will come back around
“ When I was going through my transformation, the biggest pain point for me was when you have a loved one that's closer. Even my kids are like, "Why are you changing? You're good the way you are." That will pull you back. But you're constantly ... The bus is going to come again and you can get on. The one thing that I want to say to your listeners is you didn't miss your opportunity. It's going to come back around. You're being invited to open, to change, to have a new way of thinking. It's just going to come again. You didn't miss the bus. ”

Vivian Carrasco

Important work [31:18]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Community cultivation, sharing knowledge
  • Huge amounts of knowledge
  • Podcast, putting in the work
  • Metanoia; greek word ‘a greater mind’
  • Doing important work

Capriciousness of success [34:25]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Following the flow, trusting it
  • Journeys of discovery, everyone brings their own things
  • Creating a framework for transformation
  • Your own definition of success, your own metric

Craig (00:37:17):
To me it’s like, why does that equal success? Like there’s magic sauce here that I feel like I didn’t put that in and I can’t reproduce it. I don’t know what it is. So, the capricious is just like, I don’t know how this works. It just happened.

Vivian (00:37:29):
For me, that’s actually divided up into two realms. The first one is, yes, that is the way that I live my life. I follow the flow and then it works out. A person shows up, an opportunity shows up, a framework shows up. One of the things that’s interesting for me in the last couple of years is as we move through … In my community, we go through seasons. We follow the seasons, and I call them journeys of discovery. What the members, students … they’re my girls, you know what I mean?

Continue reading…

Craig (00:38:09):
These people.

Vivian (00:38:10):
Yeah, they’re my peeps. What they’re doing is they’re showing me steps. They’re showing me, oh, we do this. They’re giving it texture because I unconsciously do this, right? And so, as they’re moving through it with me, then they’re getting into the rhythm, kind of like on a dance floor. And then they’re showing me and then I understand it a little bit more, which is why, I think you’ll be very, very excited. One of the things that’s happened in the last year is almost a framework for an undercurrent of how to invite transformation. It’s a backload of catalog. Episodes are going to come out really soon, I promise you. I can’t wait to get your feedback on them, but I’m excited for them to publish.

Vivian (00:38:58):
So, that’s what’s happening. Yes, I don’t know how the heck, right? And I’m learning as it comes back to me. It’s almost a circle. Secondly, I really want to talk about … Because for me, if you can imagine, if you’re listening, I believe that words frame your life. If you have a frame, like a picture frame, and the word life is in the middle, then there are words all around it that frame your experience. Success is one of those words.

Vivian (00:39:30):
So, my definition of success is probably not what other people define as success, but they would define what I do successful. Does that make sense?

Craig (00:39:43):
I think so.

Vivian (00:39:44):
I don’t measure, although my CPA was like, “You know, dude, you’re going to get audited if this doesn’t make money soon.” I remember her saying that.

Craig (00:39:56):
Joint the club. High five.

Vivian (00:39:59):
But it is now.

Craig (00:40:00):
Have all receipts, yeah.

Vivian (00:40:00):
Exactly. It is now. It’s totally legit and I just waited. Things take time. It is successful because I hear things from folks that say it made a difference or it matters, or whatever. (/highlight)

Presence and priority [42:39]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Conversation born in the moment
  • Being open to the unknown, in the moment
  • Accepting growth and change
  • Movement as physical, but also how we move through the world and experiences
  • Learning what works for you, living better
  • Reflection and reflective questioning
  • Doing less will allow you to choose what’s most important
  • You need to create your own map, compass, and find your own path
  • What takes up space in your life, what holds your attention, how you spend your time and energy

Craig (00:47:03):
It’s definitely, in a lot of ways, I feel like I’m learning what the artists learned much earlier. Like, yeah, just go stick … There’s a book on the bookshelf here called Hands in Clay, which is about throwing clay pottery. I was like, I don’t know what I’m doing. [inaudible 00:47:19] start. Then it falls over. I’m like, “Okay, that was awesome. Do it again.” That’s all I’m doing with podcasting with the conversations I’m having.

Vivian (00:47:27):
But don’t we do that as kids? Isn’t that how we learned?

Craig (00:47:30):
Absolutely. And somewhere along the way, you can draw the line where, and then I stopped doing that. So, that’s a mistake.

Vivian (00:47:37):
That’s a really good reflection. Reflective questions are a big thing that that kind of allow a space in your head, allow a piece of novelty if you’re asking yourself a reflective question. That’s a reflective question, what did I enjoy to do as a kid?

Continue reading…

Vivian (00:47:55):
As I was listening to you, the other thing that I thought of is the 80-20 principle and the 4% and then the one percent, right? Do less is a very good mantra because when you do less, you’ll do what’s most important first. And then, the other thing I wrote down is you were talking about the map because I get a little, I’m trying to think of a word. It’s not upset. The ladies call it, “Vivian, can you put shoes on that?” Like, can you put shoes on that?

Craig (00:48:28):
Yeah. I think you’re looking for the word indignant. I get indignant when I hear people [inaudible 00:48:31] but keep going. Well, I haven’t heard the phrase can you put shoes on that, but I know exactly what you mean.

Vivian (00:48:35):
Yeah. I think about that a lot as we’re moving through stuff. But when you said I can’t give you a map, even if we gave them a map, the map is not the terrain. I mean, it’s not-

Craig (00:48:47):
Yes. And it’s not useful without a compass either. Not to be metaphorically [crosstalk 00:48:51].

Vivian (00:48:51):
Amen. You got a map, you need to know the terrain and you need to have a compass. If we were to reflect that back into the way we live, your compass are your values which are going to tell you what to do of the 4% or the 20%. The terrain is who am I? What do I want and what am I becoming?

Craig (00:49:11):
Can I get there from here? I want to go that way. But that’s not going to happen, right?

Vivian (00:49:15):
So you’re going to do a switchback and you’re going to get there. But yeah, I think that’s something that our culture needs a lot of, is do less because when you do less, you’ll do the more important stuff, and we don’t know how to shift from. I did. It took a lot. But, shifting from a type A overachiever, I don’t feel like I add value unless I’m overworking to just, I’m a recovering type A. I can get into that mode, but I prefer to follow my flow, stay with my energy, focus on what matters, keep the important things important. Which is why I don’t have a lot of public engagement outside of the podcast. I focus the majority of my attention and time on the people that I work with. That’s just, I don’t have space. I’m doing a challenge right now, a daily challenge, because we’re not in a journey. But outside of that, my attention is on my humans, my people.

Perspective [50:27]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Rock climbing story; How you view the things you do, the whole process
  • How you choose to move through your life; in a meditative state
  • Everything is part of the journey, whole of it
  • Defining your ‘one thing,’ experiencing it full out
  • Reflective practices, connections: interpersonal relationships
  • Thruline of connection, in every part of her life
  • Creating connection, ritual, tradition has become an intentional practice
“ This ceremony, this ritual, this connection, this making meaningful moments is just the way that I've lived my whole life. I'm just now started to really taste it and really feel it and really look forward to it. It just has happened in my roles in life, but now I'm creating it intentionally, which is a whole another level. ”

Vivian Carrasco

Craig (00:52:36):
Okay, question in two parts. What is your thing and when did you realize that it feels like eating your entire life and had become this is what I do all the time? I’m going to guess there’s an epoch word, your thing was mom. That was like a whole I’m momming full time, but I’m wondering what might that thing be now and when did you realize that that had become all encompassing? Or, I’m completely wrong is another option.

Vivian (00:53:02):
That’s so delicious. There’s two parts to that too. You’re like both ends, okay? The first part, I want to relate it back to the way we move through our lives. People think that when they’re meditating, they’re in a room by themselves, sitting on the floor, you can move through your entire life in a meditative state. I love that you said I’m rock climbing from the moment I opened my eyes until I’m reflecting on that day. That little grin right there, right? Dude, that one reach. That’s a beautiful way to live because if you focus on just that one thing, like my guys and I, I don’t do it as much as they do, but they’re doing downhill mountain biking.

Continue reading…

Craig (00:53:52):
I’ve done some of that on accident. No. Sorry, go ahead.

Vivian (00:53:57):
That’s the same kind of thing. It’s the fixing the bike, it’s the cleaning the bike, it’s the carrying the bike, it’s the mud in the bike.

Craig (00:54:04):
The car ride to the bike-

Vivian (00:54:06):
To the place, right. It’s the trek up in the lowest gear, which is walking, right? It’s the whole thing. And so, I love that you said that and I want to invite the listeners to sort of look at their thing, their activity. Are you putting a box around it or are you really experiencing it, like pull out the whole time?

Vivian (00:54:31):
The second thing, to actually answer your question, I do a lot of reflection. Some people call it navel-gazing, but I’m just like, I can’t see my nose unless I’m looking in a camera or in a mirror. I figure I’m not going to get to know who I am unless I’m really looking back. We don’t do a good job of looking back. We are more focused, as a culture, moving forward. How fast am I going? Where am I getting to? Not, how far have I come? What are the connections? I actually, for a period of time, reflected on exactly what you just said. What is my thing? Just because I wanted it to have something tangible to it.

Vivian (00:55:12):
What I recognized over my whole life, the thread that’s connected my whole life is interrelationships, it’s connections. I mean, my dissertation is on interorganizational collaboration. The partnership development phase that I did in my first career, it was all about getting people to work together, and I think I learned that in my huge family. My grandmother has had birth 15 kids, 13 are still alive, and I might have that wrong. Mommy, I’m sorry. But, can you imagine? And her mother had 13 kids, so I have a huge family. I learned very early that there are different perspectives. There could be four sisters in the same room having the same experience and each of them remember something differently.

Walking down Broadway [57:35]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Connecting to people walking alongside them
  • Experience of conversation, through the conversation and relationship

Beginning blogging [1:00:09]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Vivi’s Fanbelt post, her first post ever
  • Reading of the blog post
  • Where the metaphor came from, her family and her people
  • Everything is interconnected, revisiting her past, seeing connections with her present
  • Reading aloud, with the author, having that experience
  • Remembering that experience, that time and fear and letting go
  • Ask for what you need, but don’t expect to get it in the way that you want

Uncovering [1:10:36]

  • Chapter’s transcript…
  • Uncover; you have what you need already, it’s within your reach
  • Uncover and dive into your experience; remember and reflect
  • Pay attention to yourself, who you are, what you want, what you’re becoming

3 words [1:13:47]

Craig (01:13:47):
…and of course the final question, three words to describe your practice.

Vivian (01:14:07):
I thought that I would say love being human because it is everything, right? Everything flows from it. But when I allowed myself to sort of tap in, what came up was connection. It is my practice, connection. Connecting deeper, making connections, and then creativity. This idea that we’ve been talking about of co-creating. Whether you’re in a room by yourself, like I just talked about crying, or you’re in a space with beautiful humans like you, we are always co-creating. That invitation to open ourselves, to not … Because culture says we have to do things on our own, independently, by ourselves, pick yourself up by the bootstraps kind of stuff. No. We have to create. We co-create.

Vivian (01:15:06):
I guess the third one I didn’t know until I started talking, and that is community. Find your community. If it’s one person, if it’s your pen. I actually like pencils over pens, Craig. But, move something through your body to reflect back on to help you open whatever mindset or whatever perspective you’re looking for. If your community is a piece of paper and a pencil, that’s good. Enough. That is fine. If your community is that phone a friend; someone who can be a loving, gentle kind of a critic, not too critique, but just very gentle. Find your space because we’re not meant to do this alone. Those are my three words.

Craig (01:16:02):
Terrific. Thank you very much, Vivi. It was a sheer delight to finally get a chance to sit down. I can’t wait for COVID to be over so that we can start sitting down again face-to-face with people, but it was a delight to get a chance to sit down and talk. It was everything I hoped it would be.

Vivian (01:16:21):
Thank you. I really appreciate. Again, I was delighted to. I was excited. I really was excited, and I was nervous. I was like my audio, my lighting, my [crosstalk 01:16:31] field.

Craig (01:16:30):
No. You’re all at the top. No, no. These are in recording and video now, people. This one, we spun the call up and Vivi has a camera and I’m like, oh, you have a camera which has a [inaudible 01:16:44], I’m like, okay, I’ll up my game on video since it’s been thrown down anyway. It was a pleasure to talk to you. So much fun. I’ll be seeing you around. Thanks, Vi.

Vivian (01:16:56):
Thanks.

Contact and further info

To follow Vivi’s work and get in touch, you can visit her website, viviancarrasco.com, or on her youtube channel. You can learn more and join her community at withinuniversity.com.

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